Harriette Cole: She wants a job with my company but I’ve heard about her mistakes

DEAR HARRIETTE A friend of mine requested me for a referral at my company Related Articles Harriette Cole I m envious that she has sympathy for a co-worker and none for me Harriette Cole I was confused by what I saw on my phone and then my girlfriend confessed Harriette Cole Should I tell my husband why my friend won t visit us Harriette Cole I m afraid I ll get in too deep on the rich women s trip Harriette Cole After they married she revealed a different side of herself About a year and a half ago she dropped out of college toward the end of her junior year She s never been transparent about why but now she says she s ready to pave her own way Since she left school she hasn t been able to secure a job She s reached out to her architecture and it seems like a scant people have done due diligence to help her and create opportunities for her She won t admit it but I m hearing from all these helping hands that she evidenced up late to interviews didn t send her r sum when requested and even failed a drug test Now she has come to me for help and I stated her I d let her know The truth is that I d prefer not to put my name on the line for someone who is apparently irresponsible How can I be honest with my friend about these missteps that she never even advised me about Job Referral DEAR JOB REFERRAL Your reputation is everything and you should not refer her or anyone else unless you can truly vouch for the person Speak honestly with this woman Ask her what she wants for her life and how she plans to get there Inquire as to what her job search has been thus far Unless you were sworn to secrecy about the other attempts tell her that you know she has shown up late and failed a drug test Point out that these things torpedo her chances at getting a job and also damage the reputation of the person making the referral Tell her you cannot recommend her nowadays but you are willing to talk to her to help her get her bearings for the following morning DEAR HARRIETTE My husband and I are going through a rough patch and I just don t know what to do He seems to believe that I am cheating on him This all started one night when I returned home pretty late from going out with a girlfriend who was visiting It s rare that I stay out late drinking or partying My spouse knew exactly where I was going and who I d be with but when I got home he demanded to see my phone I allowed it because I thought he was being ridiculous He didn t find anything suspicious or incriminating but he s still been on edge with me since He s even been staying overnight at his parents place certain nights claiming that it was too late to drive home I m worried I ve tried pleading with him letting him know there s nothing going on but now I fear that he s just unhappy in our marriage and looking for a reason to leave We tried a couple s therapy session but he refuses to return I don t know what to do Rough Patch Related Articles Dear Abby I m just trying to have a nice holiday dinner but people s feelings get hurt Asking Eric My mother just narrated me why she plans to cut me out of the will Harriette Cole I m envious that she has sympathy for a co-worker and none for me Miss Manners I feel bad for gasping at this man s rare face Should I have apologized Dear Abby Should I tell her about these letters from her husband DEAR ROUGH PATCH Ask your husband to sit down and have a serious conversation with you Ask him what is going on and what he wants Tell him that you are concerned because it s obvious that things are tense in your marriage and you do not know how to fix it Remind him that he accused you of cheating Point out that you are not Is he projecting Ask him if he is seeing anyone Tell him you want to get to the root of the challenge but you cannot fix a dilemma if you cannot name it Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO