Harriette Cole: After this disastrous trip with my co-workers, I dread seeing them at work

DEAR HARRIETTE Last weekend I went on a trip to New York City with a group of co-workers I ve only in recent months started getting to know Related Articles Harriette Cole My roommate just laughs at me when I bring up sponge baths Harriette Cole My friend the influencer is suddenly ignoring me Harriette Cole I m tempted to get back at my husband for the Chili s dinner Harriette Cole My daughters have stopped speaking because of a stupid joke Harriette Cole My teen expects us to buy her a new car after she wrecked hers I ve been living in Los Angeles for a little under a year and while I ve hung out with specific of them casually before this was our first real trip together There were eight of us in total and from the moment we arrived the force was just off Everyone seemed incredibly selfish and inconsiderate People kept splitting off into cliques and making plans without telling the rest of us and there were constant disagreements about everything from where to eat to what shows to see to who should pay for what At one point it felt like I was being ganged up on for purely suggesting we stick to the itinerary we had all agreed on beforehand By the end of the weekend I felt utterly drained excluded and embarrassed that I had agreed to go It was awkward and stressful and now I m dreading going back to work and having to see these people every day How do I handle the tension and awkwardness at work now Group Trip Gone Wrong DEAR GROUP TRIP GONE WRONG See if you can adopt the attitude that whatever happened on vacation stays on vacation Don t bring the misadventures of your trip back into the workplace Stay professional and cordial with your co-workers and do not rehash whatever occurred while you were away Do your best to stay out of what sounds like high-school antics Focus on your work DEAR HARRIETTE My friend and I were watching a reality show where contestants try to find love At one point we got into a friendly debate about whether one of the couples on the show was genuinely in love She was convinced that they were while I had my doubts and declared I didn t think their connection seemed all that real What started as a lighthearted conversation suddenly took a turn when she looked at me and revealed That s just because you don t know what love is Her words hit me like a punch to the gut I ve never had an official boyfriend not because I don t want one but because I m usually not a man s first choice I ve gone on dates and I ve tried putting myself out there but things never really progress for me the way they do for her She on the other hand has had multiple boyfriends and is presently in a strong loving relationship It felt like at that moment she was using her relationship history to invalidate my perspective like my experiences or lack thereof made me less qualified to have an opinion on what love looks like It felt like she was bragging about her own romantic success while reminding me of something I already feel insecure about Related Articles Dear Abby Our son s girlfriend saw my wife s text and now she won t speak to us Asking Eric I got only K from my dad s estate Then I heard about my sister s spending spree Harriette Cole My roommate just laughs at me when I bring up sponge baths Miss Manners Should I cancel the dinner because of my friend s unwelcome companion Dear Abby After the gaslighting he wants me to trust him again Am I being too sensitive about her comment Thoughtless Friend DEAR THOUGHTLESS FRIEND Talk to your friend and tell her that her words hurt you deeply While you have not experienced a fulfilling loving relationship yet you do have ideas about what love will look like for you and you have clear opinions about what you ve seen on this show Tell her that you felt her words were insensitive judgmental and unnecessary Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO